2014: Iron sharpens Iron

One of the things that I have to frequently remind myself of is that even my "bad" years aren't that bad.  I will be the first to admit that I come from a life of tremendous privilege.  My parents both work very hard and do very well financially.  Schooling and college and post-graduate education were never a concern.  I have never wanted for anything necessary for survival and I have never gone without due to financial issues.

Marcella and I are both doing what we set out to do.  We have a beautiful house, two great dogs, two perfectly running vehicles (one that is paid off), and even on the months where things get tight, we still have more than enough left over in the bank after we pay all our bills and set some aside for retirement.  No matter what my teenage self thought at the time, my life has been a walk in the park compared to many.

This year was the first time that I really have been hit by something that I wasn't sure I could handle.  Now that we have gotten nothing but positive news about Brody, we are on cruise control until he is born unless things change in the next few months, but for a while it was difficult to deal with.  There are many questions that you have when you get the news that we did.  Some questions you can't help but ask, but simultaneously feel ashamed to ask.

Why us?

Why are we the ones that have to deal with this?

We did everything right.  Why can't this happen to someone else?

I will admit those thoughts have gone through my head.  I'm not proud of it.  I know that these kinds of thoughts are appropriate for anyone who gets news that their child isn't 100% average, but at the same time, you can't help but feel bad for even letting them enter your mind.  I know it was selfish.  I know I was feeling sorry for myself, but I believe that is natural.

I no longer have those questions.  I believe I have been given answers to those questions by what I choose to attribute to prayer, self-evaluation, and time.

Why us?  Because we can handle it.  Because Brody needs us.  Because we need Brody.

Why are we the ones that have to deal with this?  Because we are well-equipped to.  Because Marcella and I have an unbreakable bond.  Because we will learn from this.

Why can't this happen to someone else?  Because not everyone else can handle this.

I read a story the other day about a girl who had left her baby in the trash can because her doctors had told her they thought her child had dwarfism.  I'm not condemning this girl because I do not know her situation, but I think it speaks that some people are better prepared to handle situations like this than others. 

Now, I'm not saying that I believe I was given a child with dwarfism because I'm going to be a better parent than other people.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I'm terrified.  I don't know how to care for an "average" kid, let alone one who is going to have special needs.  But, if God has seen fit to place this child in my life, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that he is loved, supported, and given every chance to be successful and exceed expectations.

2014 was one of the hardest years of my life, but I'm okay with that.  You don't grow as a person unless you are challenged and I feel I have grown more in the last three months than I ever have before.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." - Proverbs 27:17

Seems a little strange to think the pieces of iron that are sharpening me are a 5'4" woman and a little boy with dwarfism who isn't even born yet, but as warriors sharpen an axe before battle, I believe Marcella and I are being sharpened for what is to come, and we are ready.

2015?

Bring.  It.  On.

Mike

3D ultrasound of Brody at 30 weeks.  Already fighting us to wake up.